Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of "BtVS" and "Angel", nor do I own any rights to the television shows "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network,... I own nothing! (Hey,do you think I could be so mean to them?!) So nobody sue!
Couple: "Angel"/"Buffy" -- of course!!!
Spoilers: Everything and nothing - makes sense? - and "IWRY"
Song: Rob Zombie "Dragula (Hot Rod Herman Remix)"
Rating: PG - 14 bad words and anger,loud music and a little dance
Thanks to: Sam
Feedback: Yes please, but be nice!
Author's Note: I wrote this having a mad haunting tune.Guess what it was?
And: Yes, more of Buffy than usual for me, so forgive me. Hey, but Angel is there, too! (Why is he not here with me? *sob*)

Buffy came out of the room she shared with Willow in college, kicking a can which had been lying on the floor. It flew through the corridor, hitting this annoying fish guy right in the face. He fell unconscious on the floor, his ugly face was bleeding and he looked even more stupid than usual.

'What?' Buffy looked down at him 'What a dope! He wanted to meet me? Huh! What did he say?' Buffy mumbled ... "I've never *courted* someone like you before." ... and started to giggle unstoppably.

'At least one good thing ... o.k., it might get better ...' Buffy thought walking through the halls heading towards her car. 'Whoa! Call me mad! Hopefully I´m able to drive like this. If anybody comes between me and L.A. ... Eat my shorts!'

She arrived at the parking lot and started her black jeep.

'What is this about? ... O.k. calm down Buffy, calm down!

I must kick somebody's ass - right now!

How could he dare?'

Buffy lead her car directly onto the speedway.

Little smoke drifts came out of her ears and her body heat increased up to a mad fever. Her mouth got dry and she licked her hot lips.

'This time I'll get him! This time I won't let him escape. ... I'm going to beat the crap out of him if he wants to go on with this shitty *you deserve more* speech ... That's for sure, even if it'll be the last thing I'm doing on this bloody hell of a world!'

Buffy turned the car radio on.

'I need something to calm down, otherwise I'm going to speed up even more. ... And I wish for nobody to step in my way!'

She fiddled through her tapes in the glove compartment and chose one that wasn't labeled. She tuned the radio and started the tape.

"My little rubber duckie ..." screeched from the loudspeakers.

'I'll never again give my car to Xander!'

Buffy decided to give in and played the tape.

'Maybe this will help the next hour...'

She sang with the tape and as fast as Ernie could squeak she arrived in L.A. where her mind led her directly to Angel's.

'O.k., Buffy ... breath and stay cool ... at least as long as you know what's going on ...'

Buffy yanked the door to the bureau open and stepped in like an invader, annexing the world around her with her anger. She found her first victim in Cordelia who was sitting in a chair behind a desk, filing her nails.

'As usual!' "Nothing better to do than looking at yourself, little miss spring queen, huh?" It slipped out of her mouth.

"At least I'm going to look good when I'll have to die, but at your funeral you'll need a locked coffin." Cordelia looked up from her very important work and decided to stay calm after the impression she got from Buffy´s face.

"Where's Angel?"

"He went out to help some needy women." Cordelia smiled a superior smile, but soon enough she regretted her decision. Buffy bent herself over the desk and pulled her over it.

"So ... Where is Angel?" Buffy whispered in Cordelia´s ear. Cordelia felt her hot breath on her ear and shrieked back.

"He is observing an old perverse demon who kidnaps young women to shave their hair to stick it on his head, because he has none of his own. He has to be in this club. ... Here's the address." Cordelia grabbed the post-it next to her head on the table and gave it to Buffy. Buffy lessened the grip on her slowly and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Chase, but believe me ... " With this she turned on her heels and run out of the building into her car.

'Only some more minutes and you'll be feed for the street cats!'

Buffy steered the car in a dark backyard near the club. She had decided to walk the last meters to calm down at least a little.

The bouncer looked at her with arrogance in his eyes, but before he could say something he would have regretted, he heard Buffy´s growling and decided to keep it in. He opened the door and as soon as Buffy had stepped in, he swallowed hard. 'I don't want to be the one she might be searching for.'

Buffy went down the stairs through a wall of fog and into an old overcrowded factory building.

The lights of the strobo flashed through the hall and covered the faces of the dancing people with an unreal expression. They moved to the forcing rhythm looking like mad puppets.

She moved deeper into the crowd and felt the loud music running through her whole body, sending shivers down her spine.

The intense bass hammered against her chest and made her feel alive, but even more angry. The rhythm forced her, too and took her breath away.

//Dead I am the one
Exterminating son
Slipping through the trees
Strangling the breeze//

She looked around, trying to spot Angel. Suddenly she felt a stitch into her heart and her soul started to howl. It threw her like it always did when he was around. She suddenly became aware of how much she missed him. Always and forever. Anger changed into grief, but then back into anger.

//Dead I am the sky Watching angels cry
While they slowly turn
Conquering the wyrm//

Buffy cleared a way to the place she assumed him to be. Then she saw him. He sat on the stairs up to the stand and searched bewildered through the mass.

'He knows that I'm here ... Better prepare yourself, hon. Buffy´s here!' Buffy stepped Angel's line of view and kept a hold of his eyes. She forced him with her intense look to stare into her eyes and walked slowly up to him, not even blinking.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

"Buffy?!"

Angel got up from the stair he sat on, but Buffy shoved him back with force and took one step back on the stair that allowed her to gain the same eye level as his.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

"How dare you?" Buffy shouted, trying to be heard above the noise. She knew that Angel could hear her just as well if she spoke more silently because of his vampiric senses, but she needed to shout to hold back her tears of exhaustion.

Angel's face turned from surprise into realization. "You know?" He said silently, but Buffy could read his lips.

//Dead I am the pool
Draining from the fool
Weak and want you need
Nowhere as you bleed//

"Yes, I know. ... I know that your soul is permanent now, but what I don't know is why you kept it a secret before me." She said filled with anger. Her blood raised up to the boiling point and it cost her much strength not to explode in that second. "Even Xander knew it!" Buffy clenched her fists. "Cordelia told Xander and I got it from Willow. ..." And again little smoke drifts came out of her ears. "How dare you ... ?"

Angel looked on the floor so that he wouldn't have to see the hate filled expression on Buffy´s face.

//Dead I am the rat
Feast upon a cat
Tender is the fur
Dying as you purr//

"I told you nothing because nothing has changed. I still can't give you ..."

Buffy reacted to these words like Angel used to.

She growled.

Angel looked up searching for Buffy´s eyes, but he found Buffy´s eyes closed, tears of pain running down her cheeks.

"I ... I don't know how they found out about it. I only told Doyle."

Angel got up and took the steps down to Buffy.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

When he got near her, he tried to wrap his arms around her in an attempt to give her comfort, but Buffy pulled away and threw him down the stairs.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

Angel couldn't react in time for he had been totally surprised in getting that reaction.

//Do it baby, do it baby//

He got up from the dirty floor as fast as he could.

The people were still wildly dancing around him.

//Do it baby, do it baby
Burn like an animal//

Buffy walked down the steps slowly, never losing site of her aim. She stood opposite him, facing him, reaching out with her senses to feel him. She let herself fill with the emotions she got and started a new attack.

//Dead I am the dog
Hound of hell you cry
Devil on your back
I can never die//

She took the few steps between them with speed and started to beat him like a punching ball.

Angel didn't react. He let her hits rain over him like a mad rhythm working against the rhythm of the bass beat, which made him feel alive. It felt like having a beating heart in his chest.

//I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die
I can never die//

He searched for his soulmate in Buffy´s eyes.

Blood ran down his face, but still he couldn't react. He needed to know how much he had hurt her and it was far worse than he had expected.

//Do it baby, do it baby//

The people around them stepped back, but nobody stopped dancing.

//Do it baby, do it baby
Burn like an animal//

Suddenly Buffy stopped her attacks and started to cry, holding her hands in front of her face, holding her head. "Oh my god... What have I done?"

Buffy looked up to find Angel's eyes there.

He reached out and drew her near.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

Buffy sobbed against Angel's chest. She couldn't think straight. All she could do was feel. She felt Angel's strong arms wrapped around her, felt Angel's strong chest beating under the pressure of the music and lost herself in it.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

Angel looked down at her small form.

'Why did I hurt her so much? How could I do this to her? I wanted to do the best for her, but now I can't bear this any longer, neither can she. I need her so much!'

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

Angel cupped Buffy´s chin and held her head up so that she could look into his eyes.

//Dig through the ditches
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula//

"Buffy ... I didn't want to hurt you. I love you so much, please forgive me! Please!"

Buffy saw so much love in Angel's eyes and nodded slightly, holding him as tight as she could.She reached up with her hand and wiped off the tears running down Angel's cheeks with her thumb.

"Let us get out of here. We need to talk."

Angel said, looking deep into her eyes.Angel led her through the crowd and out of the building.They walked up the stairs to the exit and stepped out. The music behind them faded away while the heavy black door closed behind them.

"How did you come here?" Angel asked.

"My car is parked down the street in a backyard."

They walked arm in arm and in silence. Both were too overwhelmed by their feelings to speak.Angel drove them to his office. They entered the building to find everything in dark silence.

Buffy spoke. "I must have scared Cordelia to death. I'll have to apologize for my behavior if she'll ever again speak with me."

Angel lead her down into his apartment. "Do you like to drink something?" Angel asked.

"Angel, we have to take care of your wounds!" Buffy reached out for his bruised face.

"That's okay, Buffy. I'll change my shirt and be back in a second."

Buffy looked around and realized that every thing looked exactly the same like in her dreams, the dreams she had for about 3 months. Every night the same. They sat at this table and talked and then ...

Angel was back and set water on the stove. "You like to drink some tea?"

Buffy nodded a yes.

They sat in silence around the kitchen table, drinking tea.

Angel started to talk. "Buffy ... I'm sorry!"

Buffy looked up from her tea and into Angel's eyes. She found so much love there, even more than she could have imagined.

"So the devil is no longer on your back? ... I mean, the clause is gone, right? No more fear of Angelus coming back? ... Tell me, how did it happen?"

Angel changed places to sit next to her and took her hands into his.

"I made a deal with a powerful witch. I rescued her niece from a demon who blackmailed her to cast a love spell on him. ... And yes, Angelus will never again come back. ... Nothing else has changed, Buffy. ... You know what I want to say to you, now do you?"

Buffy tried to pull her hands away, but Angel held them in place. Angel saw the anger rising again in Buffy´s eyes, which stared at him and perforated his face.

"Stop this! ... Stop playing this game with me, Angel! ... I know about the reasons you told me, but I also know that the most powerful reason for you to leave had been the straight up building tension between us, the fear of losing control ... The fear that we would give in to our passion and that Angelus could return."

Angel nodded in silence.

"But Angel, now this fear is gone! ... And about your other reasons - I don't care, if you can have children because if I ever wanted children, the only man I wanted to be their father is you! ... And like I give a damn if you can walk with me in the sunlight or not! Moonlight is so much nicer! ..."

Buffy looked down on their entwined hands. Silent tears formed in her eyes.

"... And I love you so much, Angel. I need you so much, it hurts more than you can imagine to have to live without you!"

She looked up into Angel's face and saw nothing other than love in it, the same love he saw in hers.

Angel kissed her tears away with little butterfly kisses and ended up with a love filled kiss on her sweet lips.

Buffy pulled away.

"Are you going to leave me again, Angel? ... I need to know because I can't stand it any longer that I can't be with you, that I can't feel you ... I started to get numb against the world and I don't want to get hurt again! ... So tell me."

Angel got up and pulled her with him. "If you want to have me in your life, if you still love me,..."

"No more ifs, Angel! Are you going to leave me again? I need to know that - and no more lies! Never again!" Buffy shouted.

"I'll always be with you, Buffy! I'll never leave you. Not even if you kill me."

Buffy suddenly remembered a dream she had after she had to send Angel to hell. It felt so good to hear the words she had dreamt of.

"I love you forever, Buffy!"

"I love you!"

They melted into a sweet kiss that changed into a hungry and passionate one.

They gave in to the passion they had feared for such a long time and made slow and sweet love, to feel the love they shared in every fibre of their beings.

The next day Buffy woke up first and found herself lying in the arms of her Angel.She looked at him and felt like she had never felt again since the night of her birthday.She felt whole again.

Angel felt her gaze on him and woke up slowly."Buffy?... Is something wrong?She smiled at him."No, everything is perfect! ... For the first time in my whole life everything is perfect. I love you!"They shared a kiss and cuddled together.

"I love you, Buffy ... I need to tell you something. I think now I can ..."Angel tightened his arms around Buffy´s body. "The day you came to LA... Can you remember that demon that I killed in my office? ..."

This is the true story! - Joss is a liar!!!

... and here's the rest of the songtext that is not in the "Matrix" version.You know,like "Lucky" on the "BtVS" soundtrack and on "I Bificus".
//Dead I am the life
Dig into the skin
Knuckle crack the bone
21 to win//

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